How do you receive love when you don’t know who truly loves you?

Only have a few minutes so I’ll see how much I can type and how much I can remember for last night.

Had much thoughts and much thinking ever since I came home yesterday after the soak outreach and mini session with this guy named Terence. I guessed he said a lot of things that I knew,

But it was all within me. Never really told it to anyone or whatsoever.
But I thank God, cause I know that God was telling me that He knows all things. And He sees what I’m going through.

Always amazed by Him.
Thinking about a lot of things.

Like how US and Ireland come into picture
About going back to Philippines,
About receiving love again.
About knowing who loves you and who don’t.
About how to do things right again.
About how I should stop trying to be so manly and let people love me instead.
About dancing.

Haha. I don’t know.
Still think it’s bullshit when she say she loves me.
But I guess I’m totally used to it.
And that’s why I don’t know whether I should.
Either to get used to it or to believe again.
Being crushed twice makes me feel so mehhh.

I won’t be surprised if there is a third time.
But wells.
That’s how low my hope and faith I have in people hahaha.

And now whenever she hugs me or like just put a shoulder around me I feel such deep discomfort.
Even though I know that she still loves.
But to put that into context, haha no.

The Father Lord loves me, and I take security in that.
Okay enough. Hahaha my thoughts are going crazy so no more heh


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